My Life Goal

Okay so when I was a little kid,... Ahem, if you've met me before you might be thinking that I'm still a little kid, I know my wife does. So, let's start that again. When I was a young kid, I never had a specific goal or ambition in life. I have never been super into money or power, I never wanted to be a doctor or an astronaut or any of the other "careers" you were expected to pick. The only dream I ever had was to become a father someday. In order to do that, I would have to become a husband and so that was part of my original dream. I think this dream stemmed from the most important job I already had, which was being an older brother. I grew up with two younger brothers, Jayson was 2 years younger than me and Josh was 4 years younger than me.

I took my job as an older brother seriously and I truly strived to be a good example for both of them to not only follow, but hopefully surpass. Which, is exactly what I try to be for my kids today. More on them later. I was not perfect though and I really hoped that by seeing me make mistakes, it would help them to see we are all humans. Maybe they would even learn from my mistakes and not repeat them in their own lives. We were very close growing up even if Josh may not be able to admit it all of the time. The problem was that Jayson was arrogant and enjoyed picking on his younger brother. Jayson certainly had a strong case of the middle child syndrome that plagued him in ways the rest of the family didn't even realize. Jayson was smart, sneaky, and had a dominant personality. Josh would have to tolerate Jayson as best as he could, while I enjoyed being around this larger than life kind of person. We believed Jayson would go on to do amazing things if he didn't turn out to be the next coming of Lex Luther or some other brainiac version of a supervillain. Instead of taking over the world, at the age of 18 Jayson became dead-set on destroying his own life. Drugs and mental illness did him no favors and our incredibly inept system of support for these kind of lost souls did nothing to stave off the coming tide.

Fast forward several years and a conversation with Jayson altered the version of events of our childhood dramatically for me. Where I thought I was setting a good example for my brothers to follow, he told me I was too perfect to compete with. I thought I was showing them who he could be, Jayson, saw me as someone he would never try hard enough to emulate. Jayson saw things with the mentality of a victim of circumstance and he could never overcome that self-inflicted trauma. I was disappointed beyond measure as I saw everything I did as a slap in Jayson's face. He commented that for our Soccer coach in high school, I would have run until I would throw up and then keep running just to make him happy (true story). I saw this as commitment and dedication to my coach, to my team, and to myself. He saw it as an unrealistic and self-deprecating decision that he had no interest in emulating. It's hard to say that things could have been different but I fully believe had he been taught to think differently, his life could have turned out a whole lot different.

My brother passed away November 2021 at the age of 33 and not a day goes by without me thinking of him in some way. What I learned from the life that he lived is that your mentality has EVERYTHING to do with where you go in life. He did not have the right mentality and he was missing the key aspect of life that most of us are also missing. Life is not about achievements, wealth, fame, or material things. It is about breathing in every moment, good or bad, it is all part of the gift that is life. Just stop what you are doing and recognize how incredible your body is, how beautiful the world is, and how can you appreciate the small amount of time you get to be apart of this amazing experiences. We will all die as surely as the sun will set and rise again. What are you doing with your time on this earth and how are you're protecting your time? I want to help people to change their mentalities and for them to find a way towards joy, tranquility, flourishing, happiness, or whatever you want to call it. My goal is to help people appreciate Life for what it is, a beautiful and sometimes chaotic gift.

My goal is to help my children develop a better viewpoint or mindset that will last throughout their lifetimes. And anyone else who might listen to me for a little while. What are your goals?